


To Boom, To Shaba, But not to Labalaba

by SpaceCat



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7802047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceCat/pseuds/SpaceCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(In which I pretend that "Divided Loyalties" <i>never happened</i>…)</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Boom, To Shaba, But not to Labalaba

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AsterHowl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsterHowl/gifts).



> This refers of course to the funniest scene of the entire series which takes place in season two's "Acts of Sacrifice." Turn your giggle meter up to eleven and [watch it here!](https://youtu.be/_ADGYli7418) (I only took a few liberties...)

Rangers Cole and Winters were casually loitering outside C and C waiting for Commander Ivanova to arrive on duty. When Winters sensed her imminent arrival, she nudged Cole with her elbow and they both straightened up to attention just in time for Ivanova to round the corner.

Cole cleared his throat. "Commander, we were wondering if we could ask you a question."

Ivanova looked him up and down sternly for a moment. "Yes, of course," she said with a sharp nod.

"It concerns some negotiations that you conducted last year," he said.

Winters added, "Just in the interests of accuracy you understand."

"Right, you never know when you might need the information in the future." Cole gave what he thought was a smooth smile.

"We understand that they're very picky." Winters gave the Commander her very best innocently interested look.

"We wouldn't want to cause a diplomatic incident if we meet with them again."

The Commander repressed a growl. " _Who_ exactly are you two talking about?"

"The Lumati," they chimed together.

Ivanova's face drained of color.

Cole continued. "Now it was our understanding that the Telling of the Portfolio comes after the Boom and the Shaba, is that correct?"

"Don't forget the Labalaba," Talia interposed.

Ivanova's face turned red.

"Surely not?" asked Cole, turning to Winters. "A single Laba is too much for someone's who's a virgin at Human Style. Labalaba might cause cardiac arrest."

"No," Talia replied, "I'm quite sure it was Boom Shaba Labablaba. Twice."

"Well then what about the Three Bags Full?"

Ivanova's face was approaching purple.

"Those come after the second Labalaba," Winters explained with a touch of self-importance.

"Ah, now I understand," Cole said. "Then comes Dinner…"

"… Shaba Labalaba," Winters interposed.

"And Drinks,"

"… Shaba Labalaba,"

"And I'm pretty sure there's some kissing in there…"

A choked sound escaped Ivanova as she turned sharply on one heel and strode firmly away.

Marcus and Talia watched her in silence until she turned a corner. "I didn't even get to the Grab," Marcus deadpanned. "I wanted her to demonstrate her technique."

"I'm not sure I've ever seen that color on a human face before," Talia mused.

They looked at each other silently for a moment and then dissolved into uncontrollable giggles, leaning against one another for support.

Finally Marcus managed to gasp out, "And smoke, real smoke came out of her ears, I'll swear to it."

"Maybe we should warn the enviro guys," Winters said with another round of giggles.

"Aren't you going to be in trouble when you get home tonight?"

"Not to worry," said Talia with smug confidence. "I know _exactly_ how to unruffle those feathers."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Questions, comments, suggestions, insults, typos, or if you need an easy truffles recipe, you can reach me here:
> 
> atomic.space.kitteh [at] gmail [dot] com  
> =^..^=


End file.
